“Damn it Jim, I can’t believe your asking me to do this. You know I have at least a dozen things on my to-do list as it is. I’ve closed a couple of contracts myself this month, and on top of that, our daughter, the economics major, has once again overdrawn her checking account and needs an infusion of cash or she won’t be able to buy her textbooks this term.
“I know and I wouldn’t ask but it’s an emergency. I’ve been trying to finalize this contract for three days. Every time I’m supposed to deliver it, Ferguson’s schedule changes and he can’t appear at the appointed time. Besides, it will only take a few minutes. Deliver the contract and bing, bang, boom; you’re on your way home.”
“You and your bing, bang, boom. Can you imagine how long it will take to escape downtown D.C. at 4:00 on a Friday afternoon? I’ll be sitting in traffic for almost two hours, and if so much as a drop of precipitation falls, you can tack on another thirty minutes. God help me if I show up late for your mother’s dinner party. She’s expecting Senator Flipflop, hoping to get backing for her latest project, ‘Save the D.C. Virgins’ or some other mythical species she’s adopted.”
“Glad to see you still have your sense of humor, my love. So you’ll do it?”
“Yes, I’ll do it, this time.”
“Thanks. Sleep well my love. I’ll see you day after tomorrow.”
I ought to have my head examined, Bev thought, maneuvering her way down Constitution Avenue. He knows I hate the city. That’s why I do business in the suburbs.
“Damn, another detour. Now which way do I go? Hey, don’t blow your horn at me, mister. Give me a minute to get my bearings.”
Finally, Bev arrives at the restaurant and sees Jim’s client sitting alone at an outdoor table, enjoying a glass of white wine. It takes only seconds to execute the contract and walk back to the car. Not a drop of rain in sight.
“How was the dinner party?”
“Not so good. Your mother was quite upset when her guest of honor failed to appear.”
“I saw that on the news. What a shame.”
“Yes, I’m watching Channel 7 now.”
“D.C. police promise an intense investigation into the daring daylight shooting of Senator Charles I. Flipflop as he enjoyed his traditional afternoon glass of wine at local area restaurant. Police were unable to provide a motive for the brutal slaying of one of our nations most respected leaders. Senator Flipflop began his career in politics as a young man in……”
“I wonder why…?”
“You’ll never know my dear. You get a contract and bing, bang, boom, you do your job and you go home. Thanks for helping me out on this one. See you tomorrow”
- God’s pawnshop (sfgate.com)
Tags: Bobbi Carducci, Constitution Avenue, Contract, couples, creative writing, D.C., dark humor, Family Life, flash fiction, Humor, Inspiration, marriage, short story, Washington, Wine, writing exercise